Thursday, May 14, 2009

What have I been missing out on?

So, I'm sure you're all wondering if anything happened, right?

That would be a big fat NO.

Apparently, I wasn't invited out last night to help celebrate his birthday, which is fine. What I did get though was a text at 1:05 (am) asking what I was doing.

If that's not a booty call, I don't know what is. I replied back and told him I was going to bed. He then texted back and said he would catch me later. Umm, yeah. Maybe not.

Honestly, I did not see this going in that direction. I'm not a big fan of having "friends with benefits," I am a fan of "benefits" but more along the lines of a "relationship with benefits." Ya know??

I have been so patient, and I think that is what is biting me in the ass right now. Maybe someday he will realize what he could have had with a little respect towards me.

The other day a friend of mine was talking about how when she met her husband she was seeing a different guy. She knew that things would never be long term with the current guy, but thought there was a strong chance with the new guy. I actually remember when all this was happening and she was trying to decide between the two guys. She hated to let the first guy go because she really did care about him, but had to try things out with her now husband.

She made a really good point. What if she had stuck things out with the first guy? She would have missed out on so much! It got me thinking. How much have I missed out on dating guys that I know aren't "the right ones"? (I'm not going to say "the one" because I don't believe in that, but that is a post for another day) or even guys that I know won't commit but I keep trying to make them commit? We all know guys will do what they want to do one way or another. Why are girls so determined to make something work that is so obviously not going to?

I'm beating a dead horse here, and I know it. I know I didn't fail, but sometimes that is what it feels like and nobody likes to feel like a failure. I know I didn't do anything wrong, if anything I did borderline too much. I was too accommodating, too patient and waaay too nice.

Bottom line, the bitch switch in me has been flipped on and I'm kinda pissed. It's not full on pissed yet because I think I'm still in that "hurt" phase, but the more I think about it the more and more ticked off I get.

All I know is that, if I'm missing out on something right now, I won't be anymore!!


Shoshanah said...

I had a similar situation to your friend, and made the same choice as your friend. Definitely made the right choice since we're still together, but kind of scary to think what would have happened in the other case

Anonymous said...

wow hun, this was a tough post. sometimes i wonder the same thing... what am I missing out on? but then sometimes i wonder if im missing out on someone that i don't give a chance to because i don't feel an instant connection? oh so hard.

Larissa said...

i'm sorry this had to happen for you to realize he wasnt right for you. plus you rock and he sucks. :D

i was beginning to wonder when a post about him would pop up. i think we tend to make things work because sometimes we're blind to whats happening, especially if we're scared of being alone. I think too much emphasis is put on being with someone these days that people lose sight of enjoying being single and living their life without a significant other.

im really glad you didnt run to him when we booty-called you. he doesnt deserve you. *hugs*

also sometimes you wont feel the connection right away, but giving something new a chance never hurts.

Amber said...

Aww, thanks guys. :)
Sometime I will have to post more details on how him and I got to the point we're at now and why I'm so upset. I don't fall that easily, but under the circumstances he put me under it was pretty damn easy.

Crazy Shenanigans said...

I've had to deal with a situation like this before. It sucks getting those 1am texts and knowing that's all they want and not a relationship. You have to do what's right for you.

Glad you found my blog!!! Trust me...your not the only one who gets excited that her night is filled with tv

Pursuit of Matching Accessories said...

I am PROUD of you! I know how hard those decisions are to make, but it is definitely in your best interest. Personally, if I KNOW that someone is not marriage material, then I will not waste further time with them. I'm past the stage of wanting to date just for the hell of it, when we both know it's going nowhere. (Or worse yet, when one of us wants it to go somewhere and the other one doesn't.) I know it's kind of hard for us women to deal with, but men are inherently programmed to be warriors. They have to pursue something and fight for it, in order for it to be valuable to them. You are definitely worth fighting for and he should have seen that! So I know it's a tough decision to make, but you will be so much better off for it. Hang in there!