Your first love
Ahhhh, young love. Young, puppy dog, raw true love. Not an easy thing to forget, that's for sure.
Mine's a long story, so grab a cup of coffee and a cozy blanket and get settled!
The summer I was 13, right before high school. I was always with my two good friends, Sarah and Sarah. One of the Sarah's didn't go to my school so she had several friends we didn't know, one of them being a boy named Drew (short for Andrew).
Well, Sarah introduced the other Sarah to Drew's best friend, Mike and me to... you guessed it, Drew!
Drew and I instantly hit it off. I mean, instantly! I didn't know what to make of this. I had never felt this way before - and honestly I don't think I have since. Maybe nothing can ever compete with the feelings you have for a boy when you're that young and every emotion is so engulfing and powerful. Comparing anything today to how I felt then just isn't fair. I'm not the same person.
Everything about our relationship was typical of that age. We fought and broke up, we made up, and would talk on the phone for hours, we cheated on each other, we wrote each other gushy love letters, we pissed each other off on purpose but through it all we really knew each other. He knew me and I knew him. We dated off and on throughout high school, but ended up drifting apart as we got older.
Have no fear though...
We found our way back to each other my freshman year of college through a girl that is now one of my best friends. At the time, she was dating Drew's older brother. When she first mentioned who her boyfriend was, I was like... uhhhh, I think I know his little brother. She immediately got to work planning a surprise reuniting Drew and I. Surprise it was! One night I was sitting in her dorm room and there was a knock at the door, she asked me if I could get it and without even thinking that was unusual, I did. Behind the door was Drew and his brother. Talk about shock!
From there we dated off and on again from my freshman to junior year of college. We eventually broke up and lost contact again once I left for my internship the summer before my senior year.
It wasn't over though!
Six years later in the fall of 2008 some mutual friends of his and mine were having a costume party. My friend (the one that reunited us) and I were invited, not thinking about the possibility of Drew being there we excitedly planned our costumes and got ready for the party. The night we were getting ready it occured to me that he would probably there! How could I have been so dumb?!
Of course he was there and of course we got back together agaaaain. It's like we're magnets or something. We spent the next few months together, but both knew that we weren't a good fit. We knew it wouldn't last. I can't explain why... it just doesn't work. Being friends doesn't work either.
So, right now we have lost touch again. I'm sure I've got his phone number somewhere and I can obviously get it from our mutual friends but that wouldn't be a good idea. Sometimes I get really sad and miss him, but I know ultimately I am better off. His friends feel the same way... he's currently dating another "Amber" and his good friend always tells me that he wished I was the "Amber" he was dating and that the first time he brought this girl around his friend thought she was me until she got there and he saw it was not me. Far from it, actually.
All those years after college when we lost touch the second time I wondered if he felt the same way I did. Did he consider me his first love? Does he still carry a torch for me the way I do for him? I got all those questions answered two years ago. We talked a lot about how we felt about each other back then and said all the things we never did before. I think it was the closure I needed. I needed to know that he would always have a soft spot for me like I do for him. I needed to know that he loved me just like I loved him.
So, that is the story of my first love! Oh, how I wish I had an old picture or an old letter! Unfortunately, I do not and I have no idea what happened to them all! :(
Will you always hold a torch for your first love? Do you still keep in touch?
4 comments:
My first love was my high school boyfriend. We started dating when I was a junior, broke up fall of my senior year, got back together around Christmas of my senior year, broke up at the end of February. It was quite a roller coaster of emotions. There really is no comparison to that first love... We are still friends and try to keep in touch but he lived in CA for the last 3-4 years and now moved to TX so it gets tough. I still try to keep in touch with his family as we were basically a part of each other's families since we spent so much time together.
It took me a LONG time to get over him. I still had feelings for him in my mid-20s but now those feelings have subsided and I am just glad we are still friends.
My first love was my bf in 10th grade. We dated for a year. We were pretty zen together. Our first and only fight was when I saw him smoking. Oh dear! We occasionally keep in touch via facebook, but I cant recall the last time I spoke to him.
I really love it that you guys came back together later in life. At least you left it all out there and know now and have answers to the what if's.
I think when you are with your TRUE love for long enough, the feelings will fade. It sounds impossible but one day it will happen. I love this experiment you are doing, now I want to do it!!!
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