Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!

Hope everyone had a good Easter!

I know I have been a little absent lately. There's been a lot going on.

After deciding to go public with the blog, I immediately regretted it. A very dear friend of mine read a not so nice comment from me. I felt absolutely awful. Things are okay now, but it really got me thinking about how often I judge other people and gossip. So, I have made a commitment to myself not to gossip anymore. I know it's hard not to and I probably will sometimes but I want to make a better effort to put myself in the other persons shoes.

Also this past week things went a little south with the guy I was seeing. I honestly can't tell you if we're still dating or not. One half of me says no, and the other half says yes. On Friday night we talked (through Facebook IM) and he said he wanted to slow down. That he's gotten really busy with work recently and feels bad that he can't hang out with me all the time. I get where he is coming from, my career is very important to me, and I tend to be a workaholic as well. With this new job, I am hourly though and overtime is NEVER allowed. I cannot work over 40 hours, which is new to me. With CLL I tended to work between 45-50 hours a week and I worked Mon/Wed nights at a local sports bar. I quit working at the bar a little over a month ago, so just have the new gig going now.
I guess the pessimistic side of me is thinking this is just his way of letting me down gently. Jury's still out on that one... I'm just going to go with the flow and if something happens, great! If it doesn't, I know there are plenty of other fish in the sea!
I do think it's fair to date other people -- I need to learn how to not put all my eggs in one basket. I'm still very interested, but I have to protect myself. To be honest with you all, since things ended completely with the Big Ex in January I have felt really ready for a new relationship. Sounds crazy but I don't think I was ever completely over him, even during the five years we lost touch. This time it feels over for good. You have no idea how good it feels to be able to say that!

So, last night I was out with a ton of friends from high school. There's this kid that I guess likes me. I say "kid" because when I was a senior he was a sophomore. I graduated with his older brother and he was always the "Little [insert last name]" so it's just a little weird. He was flirting with me and buying me drinks all night long. We found out that we both tend to spend a lot of time up at Lake Okoboji in the summers. His family owns a cabin up there and one my best friends has cabins up there as well. His are near my friends too on the west side of the lake. We exchanged numbers and texted a little bit today. I'm just not sure though. I'm really not opposed to seeing guys younger than me at all. The guy I am currently seeing (?) is the same age as this guy from high school, which was really spooking me last night but I think that is just because I knew this guy in high school and would have never dated him back back thenl just because it would have been weird!

I'm just going to go with the flow. I keep saying that, but honestly if I don't keep saying it I will start to manipulate and over analyze everything.

I. have. to. stop. over. analyzing.

I seriously don't know how though, besides to keep repeating that I have to go with the flow. Seriously, are you sick of me yet? Ha!

That's basically my life in a nutshell! I can't believe I have been at the new job a month now, it feels like way longer! I move back into my own place in 15 days. Woo hoo! Can't wait!

What's been going on with ya'll? I've been saying ya'll lately, don't ask me why. I guess I want to be Southern. Or actually I want a Southern man. If you have not dated one before... let me tell you, they are the best. I love being called "baby", "sunshine", "sweetie", or any other term of endearment. Down there everyone is a pet name and at first it bugged me (I mean, my boss called me Babe, weird!)

Seriously though, how is everyone?!


marisol said...

Southern men rock. So charming and they truly know how to treat a lady.

Definitely go with the flow. These are the years were we can be selfish and have it be all about you. Life is too precious to not enjoy it.

Have a good week.

Shoshanah said...

I am still surprised about the manners in the south! Even 2 and a half years later, my southern boy still opens doors for me!

And I totally, get the over analyzing bit. I am ALWAYS doing it!

The Blonde Duck said...

Popped over from 20 something bloggers to say hi!

Lesli said...

I like to say y'all too and secretly always wanted to be a Southern belle. I am sorry about the ups & downs in your relationship right now. I will keep repeating this for you though--go with the flow! And don't put all yours eggs in one basket. And definitely younger guys are great for dating! Hang in there, Amber--we are all here cheering you on.


Larissa said...

Even though it sucks to be so busy you cant find time to post on your blog, its also kind of nice to be that busy. I used to post every day and now I only have time once a week. That sucks about the reaction you received about going public with your blog, its super nice to have a place where you can vent and not have anyone really know who you are- I wont even tell my current bf about it because I need a place to just unleash my feelings without compromising any relationships. Its only natural to over analyze, but don’t do it too much, or itll take over your life, and its good to have a positive outlook on things. And YES, there will ALWAYS be more fish in the sea…something I need to keep telling myself…thanks for the reminder! :D No need to settle for something less than what you deserve. Congrats on the new job btw!

p.s.- thanks for the comment!