Just gotta learn things the hard way...

As I've grown up I've learned the hard way that there is only a few people in life that are completely, 100% trustworthy.

In my life, it's family and a couple (maybe 2) friends.

Today, I found out that something I said in confidence to a close friend was repeated. After I specifically told this person not to say anything because it would do no good. It would only hurt the person I spoke of.

It wasn't anything hurtful specifically about this person that I said to this friend, it was a feeling.... a way I felt. A feeling that probably shouldn't have even been confessed, but this is what happens when you have a few (or 6) beers.

Things do not get easier as we get older, and they don't necessarily get harder either. They just get complicated.

Possibly taking the library usage too far?

Awhile back I decided to stop buying books, and to use only the library. My only exception was for books I knew I would read again or books I would like to pass down to my own children someday. Books that fall into this category are books by J.K. Rowling, Jodi Picoult or Stephenie Meyer (I know, I know, so not an author I'm going to pass down but I think I will read them again!). Or books that are classics such as Wuthering Heights or Little Women, because if you read this post you would know it's important to me that my children read these. I sure hope I have girls, huh!? Ha!

I found that I was spending a ridiculous amount on books that I could get for FREE at the library and only have to wait a few weeks after the release date, if that! I have two bookshelves in my apartment and I have filled them several times with books, then given them away or sold them to Half Price Books for a ridiculously low amount. This happens during one of my de-cluttering phases that I tend to have several times a year.

I think I may have taken it too far...

Lately I have been checking my library account almost daily to see where I am on the hold list for some of my favorite books and strategically reading them in a certain order because of it's due date.

Wow. I can't believe I just admitted that. Oh well. I'm a dork and I love it.

Yesterday two books came in that I am really excited about, and coincidentally are milestones in this "No buying books" goal I have going. They are Best Friends Forever by Jennifer Weiner and Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella. These are two books that a year ago (or even a few months ago) I would have ran out and bought on the day they were released. Doing this I would have wasted at least $30 that I could have avoided spending!

I'm proud of myself, because I am a very frivolous shopper and will buy just about anything I want wether or not I have the money or not! Not good...

A part of me feels bad because I'm not supporting these authors and buying their books. Although I can afford to buy these books I just don't see the point anymore... Maybe someday when I have larger place with more bookshelves I will return to buying books. For right now I'm pretty pleased with myself! Sounds so silly, but I'm serious, I was spending a TON of money on books. Sometimes books that I didn't even get around to reading!

Currently I have 7 books checked out and 6 books on hold from the library... yikes! I also just keep spotting new books I want to read and then go to the library's online catalog and place them on hold. It's the weirdest addiction I have had in a long time! LOL!

When I get an email alert that a book I requested is in I have to go get it that day.... It's slightly ridiculous.

Is anyone else like me? Do you tend to buy or borrow books more?

PS: Isn't that image above hilarious? It's a magnet! It might just be hilarious to me due to my strange obsession.... I understand if I lose readers because of my strange new fetish... ;)

Weekends at the lake are always eventful!

We got back from the lake today and it is technically my "Sunday". I am so not ready to go back to work tomorrow after five fabulous days off!

It was so much fun though. We've definitely started a new tradition that we hope to do every summer. One of my best friend's husbands family has cabins at a very popular lake about 3 1/2 hours north of here and I go every time they will have me! Well, her husband has a tradition he hosts every summer called "Mans Weekend" so we decided this year to have a "Friends Weekend" of her friends and the weekends overlapped one night, so you can only imagine the craziness that ensued! It was so much fun though! Loved every minute!

Almost...

I found out from some friends of mine that I do not see very often, that The Ex (which, is a term I'm borrowing from Jess!) brought another girl around to their lakehouse (different lake, just as fun!) a few weeks back. I was unaware he was dating anyone else and it just hit me the wrong way. They didn't realize I still had these feelings for him, and were saying how they wished it had been me with him. That they thought it was me because his date and I shared the same first name.

Immediately I burst out into tears and sorta spilled my guts to them. I'm sure the fact that I was three sheets to the wind did not help, but I've always believed "a drunk person's words are are a sober person's thoughts" and this was no different.

It was hard to hear that he was dating again, and it might sound naive, but I know his feelings for me are still there. There's just no denying it, we have known each other too long and will always hold a torch for each other. I believe he's doing what he thinks is best for me and will hurt me least because he knows he cannot give me what I want.

Again, that might sound naive and stupid but it's what makes me feel better and what I truly believe.

Banned books of America...

Saturday my dad, my sister and I all went to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, which was fabulous! If you're a Harry Potter fan I do not see how you can be disappointed. They did a tremendous job on this film. I could go on and on about my favorite fictitious characters Harry, Ron and Hermione but that's not what this post is about...

It's about the fact that CLASSIC children's books are being banned, and I think it's incredibly sad.

I was really excited when I saw the preview for the movie Where The Wild Things Are because this was a favorite of mine when I was a little girl. The three of us got to talking about our favorite books as children and my sister reminded us that Where The Wild Things Are is a banned book in the United States. I don't know why I felt surprised, because I already knew this fact but it really got me thinking and wondering. What other books are banned? And, why? My sister's answer to that question, was "those books encourage kids to use their imagination too much."

I haven't been able to stop thinking about this, so I did a little research...

Some reasons for the censorship are very obvious, although still seemingly ignorant to me. Reasons such as Mark Twain's use of the "n" word through The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou for the rape scene. Students are missing out on outstanding pieces of literature that are important to our culture.

Some schools have gone as far as banning Harry Potter books for it's witchcraft themes. I can understand banning a book for explicit scenes and derogatory terms, but banning a book purely because it's too much imagination is just silly.

When does this stop? What exactly are children supposed to read? What are they supposedly being protected from? Shouldn't we be teaching kids that these books are fiction and yes, may be a reflection of those times when they were written but they are a lesson to us about right and wrong. How long will it before basic HISTORY is banned because, it contains too much violence?

I feel very privileged because I was assigned literature like The Scarlet Letter and To Kill a Mockingbird when in school and I also had a parent that encouraged me to read whatever I wanted. My father is a big reader and he is who I get my passion for reading from. He took it upon himself to make sure I was aware of the classics and that I could get my hands on them.

When I become a parent I hope to do the same. Most likely my kids will not get the same reading assignments as I did in school, but I will make sure they are familiar with these legendary tales by some of the greatest authors of all time.

Here is a list of books that are currently banned in most American schools:

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

The Harry Potter Series

To Kill a Mockingbird

Where the Wild Things Are

Bridge to Terabithia

The Lord of the Flies

Of Mice and Men

The Color Purple

Forever (Judy Blume)

The Catcher in the Rye

Go Ask Alice

The Great Gilly Hopkins

Some of these books I can understand not being available in schools and I found on my own as a kid (like Go Ask Alice) but some of these titles are just plain silly to me.

What do you think about these books being banned? What are some of your favorite books that are now banned from schools?

Someday I will be my own boss...

Days like today remind me of why I want to someday be my own boss.

It's not that I can't stand being managed, well, ok, maybe it is that I can't stand being managed.

Today my current district manager (she's filling in temporarily while my permanent DM is out on maternity leave) was in my store and, omg, it was awful. She was on the rampage and she nitpicked everything. Seriously, the entire store, which was about 5 of us working today, was on edge all day.

On top of it all we have been hit hard with tons of new freight to be processed and we had 3000 new clearance items that had to be ticketed. Talk about a load of work to do... I'm exhausted.

Thank goodness I have tomorrow off because I plan on spending it poolside with the 2nd and 3rd Sookie Stackhouse book...

In the meantime I'm evaluating whether or not I can do this job for several years. This amount of stress right now is a little unusual but definitely not unheard of for retail. The other day I was catching up with an old DM of mine that is in her 50s and no longer working. We still keep in touch from time to time and she asked me if I was making sure to take time for myself, because she worked her tooshie off her entire life and it's catching up with her now in her health. It really got me thinking... I know she's right.

Oh, Jillian, you're even tinier on a 13 inch screen...

So, I think Libby (my cat) just ruined my tv.

If you're a regular reader you know she climbs on EVERYTHING, she loves to be up high. She just climbed on top of the tv, which is one of the older models that sticks out pretty far in the back, and she fell off on the backside and ripped the cable right out of the back of it.

I cannot get it back on and I think it's ruined. I'm currently using the small 13 inch tv that I got in THE SEVENTH GRADE. Uhhh, I'm not even going to tell you how many years ago that was, but trust me, it was a long time ago.

I'm squinting to see The Bachelorette on my tiny tv, but at least I have a back up, right?

Guess it's time to go shopping....


UPDATE! Libby IS okay. The tv, on the other hand, is not. Grrrrrrr.....

Vampires make my heart race...

I have finally caved and I started the Sookie Stackhouse books. I'm about halfway through the first book and I have to say, I'm intrigued! A lot of you have warned that the first isn't nearly as good as the rest, and if that is really so, then I am really excited to keep reading!

For all of you Sookie Stackhouse fans and True Blood fans, when is a good time to start watching the first season of True Blood? I don't want any spoilers for the books because if I see it on screen first I am less likely to read the book, plus I'm just a big fan of reading the book first! I think all readers agree...

I had to buy the first book from Borders, but have the rest checked out from the library or on hold at the library. I was surprised there isn't a long wait for them! Maybe people just haven't caught the Bill bug yet and are still pining away for Edward! I'm still leaning towards Edward, but Bill is making my heart race a little too...

I hardly ever go to Borders and am more of a Barnes and Noble girl but I couldn't find the first book anywhere! Finally, I went to Borders (where there was only two copies left) and I have to say... I might be thinking about making the switch! Mainly because their rewards program seems a little better. Better as in free!

Although I really don't buy that many books, so a rewards program isn't a deal breaker for me. I will probably not be loyal to either, and go wherever I have a coupon for. Usually, I buy books used on Amazon, but there are a few authors that I buy right away. Jennifer Weiner's new book on Tuesday anyone? I'm definitely picking that one up...

Now, I'm off to finish reading about Sookie and Bill... I hope they keep me up at night like Edward and Bella did.

Awwwwwwwkward!

So, tonight I had to work with the person in suspect that I mention here.

It.was.awful.

I'm so angry, I want to scream at her. I want to confront her. I want to fire her.

But, I can't.

It isn't my job. It's loss prevention's job. (dammit)

She's going on vacation after today until Tuesday (luckily, it's not paid) so we won't have to deal with her until then. On Tuesday is when LP will speak with her, and hopefully it is the end of this. I'm praying it is.

Anyway, so today I basically kept my mouth shut all night. It was either that or rip her lying head off. She asked me if I was okay and said I seemed upset. I cited a headache for my unusual behavior and she seemed to accept that. For the time being. As the night wore on I could tell she sensed something was wrong but didn't ask me anymore questions, thank God.

We both had to close the store together, and usually we walk out into the parking lot to our cars together. I wanted to get away from her as quickly as possible so as soon we locked the door I told her I was meeting a friend for a movie and took off toward the movie theater. From there I stood in the food court and counted to 100, then left. Awful, right? It was all I could think of.

As I left the mall I decided to run into the grocery store to pick up something to eat for dinner. As I was about to get out of my car I see a car like hers.

Then her husband gets out.

Then, I freak out.

Luckily I don't think she saw me. Luckily my car is rather common so she may not have noticed me, but then again I don't know.

Ironic!!

Thank goodness I don't have to see her again til Tuesday.

Lotsa stuff going on!

Hey all!

I apologize for my absence lately. The time is slipping away from me! Things have been kinda nutty!

First off, my great grandmother passed away last week so I was in northern Minnesota for her funeral. It was a beautiful service and it was so interesting meeting all of her friends. Some of them that she has had almost her entire life, which is almost a century! She was 98 when she passed. Isn't that amazing? I am sad for her death, but on the other hand I feel very fortunate to have been able to grow up with a great grandmother in my life!

Work has been what is stressing me out the most. Awhile back I discovered one of our deposits was short a rather significant amount of cash. Today as I was auditing the month of June I decided to look even deeper and verify a few more things. As I was crunching numbers and verifying, verifying, verifying I found two more shortages in smaller amounts but added up equals to much larger. It is by the same person and the amounts are very even, so the likelihood of it just being a mistake is slim. Oh, and it's the same person. Coincidence? Probably not.

I'm so bummed, because I hired this person three years ago at the company I worked at before. She followed me here and I consider her a friend. I'm taking this very personal, because it feels like she is stealing from me. Not just the company I work for. It is out of my hands now, and in a week things may be very different for me at work. At the end of the day it is a good thing, I do not want a thief in my store but in the end I will be losing a friend.

I have gone through this before with a friend and it's hard. People make mistakes and I am a very forgiving person but they also know right from wrong and this is just plain wrong.

Then... last weekend "the boy" told me to f**k off. Nice, huh? Why did he say that you ask? Could be because I have been flat out ignoring his texts.... and now I will continue to do so.

So, that is what is going on with me! Keep your fingers crossed that this all works out. Have a happy and safe 4th of July!