I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
I will not play games...
Last night I had plans to go to happy hour/dinner with a group of girlfriends, our plan was to start early so we can be home early because so many of the girls had obligations early in the morning. That was fine by me!
Then mid afternoon I got a text from that guy asking me if I wanted to go to a movie that night, he said he knew it was short notice but he really wanted to see Couples Retreat. Now, I felt like "the rules" said I should say no.
But, I didn't want to say no. I wanted to say yes!
So, I tried to compromise and told him that I had plans with friends but they were early plans and that maybe him and I could see a late movie? I also told him I had already seen Couples Retreat and asked him if there was anything else he wanted to see. We ended up seeing The Informant and we both pretty much hated it. I kind of felt bad because I knew he wanted to see Couples Retreat, and I offered to see it again but of course he said no, that it was okay.
I'm trying really hard not to play games... not that I am any good at the gameplaying anyway. I'm just worried I am appearing overly eager or too available. I don't think I am, but it's still sitting in the back of my mind.
What do you guys think? Would you have turned down his invitation because it was such short notice or do you think it isn't a big deal?
11 comments:
If I wanted to see him, I would definitely accept the invite like you did! He sounds like a great guy from what you've posted and tweeted :) And I've heard The Informant was bad from multiple people now, so I definitely won't be seeing it. Too bad, love Matt Damon!
I too think if you want to see him, see him..
:)
Granted, I've never really "dated" but I don't believe in playing games. Obviously, no one should be too needy, but if you want to see him then SEE HIM! I think you handled that situation wonderfully. Too bad the Informant sucked because Couples Retreat is hilarious!!
I think you did the right thing. If you wanted to see him then see him. If you didn't then just say no. I think if you would have said no when you were wanting to hang out then you would have been playing games. Just play it by ear.
Here's my theory on the game playing thing. If by saying yes to last minute plans makes me seem too eager and turns the guy off, he is not the guy for me. I hate the early stages of dating because you constantly feel like you have to not seem too interested. And that annoys me because I just want to do what i want and say how i feel and not 'manage perceptions'.
On Tuesday, I ended up deciding to go shopping. I texted the guy I am dating and said - sorry it's late notice but I decided to go shopping tonight & wondered if you wanted to catch dinner afterwards. He said yes! And I was thrilled. And yes, when i asked to make plans at the last minute like that, I was worried I'd come off as too eager, but I figured - what the hell. I like this guy. If that turns him away - he's not for me.
But yah, I totally hate the early stages. I want to jump into month 3.
I think you handled it well and I agree with previous commenters -- see him if you want to see him! (Plus, at least he knows you had plans before you went out, so it isn't like he thinks you were sitting at home all day just waiting to be with him.) ;)
I think you did the right thing too. You didn't cancel on your friends to be with him and it seemed like a great compromise to me. I say just go with your gut since it seems to be leading you in a good direction and don't worry about game playing.
Okay, this is a huge pet peeve of mine. Do what you want, say what you want, be what you want. 100 percent of the time. Do not change for anyone. This includes dating. And you did mention you had plans earlier so he knows you were not sitting at home being desperate.. but I really wish people would not second guess themselves like 3549354 when it comes to dating. I guess it comes from watching some friends make some pretty dumb dating decisions and continue to be single when they should just relax and go with the dang flow already.. :)
Well... looks like I did do what I want, now doesn't it?
I agree with the others that you did the right thing. You did want to see him, but you also kept your loyalty by keeping your plans with your friends. It also let him know that you are willing to compromise, but are not just sitting around at home. Nice job, and continue to stay true to yourself!
I think if you want to see him then go for it. It isn't like you cancelled your plans with your friends, you were available and he was asking!
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