Sunday, April 17, 2011

Back to center

I have been feeling so incredibly blessed lately. I know that I am and that I am very fortunate to have the opportunities that I do, but lately my cup has absolutely run over and I am so grateful. I wish that everyday is like this and I need to think back on these days when they're not.

This may sound weird, but I am grateful for a Mon-Fri work schedule that allows me to use my weekends however I please. It makes such a difference in my level of happiness to be able to pick and choose whatever I want to do instead of letting my work schedule dictate what I can and cannot do. If you work weekends or have worked weekends you know exactly what I am talking about.

Friday night we had our usual happy hour at our usual place, everything was perfect (besides my somewhat cranky mood, which subsided the next morning) and then afterward I did a little essential shopping at Target. Saturday a couple of my friends accompanied me to a local elementary school play of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was adorable and I truly admire all of the teachers and volunteers that worked so hard on that production the past 4 months. Saturday afternoon and evening I stayed in and did a TON of studying and got quite a bit done which has really lightened my load for today, so I was grateful I chose to do that verses going out.

Today I got up around 9, enjoyed coffee and the newspaper and then got ready for church. Today's sermon got through to me on so many different levels, I teared up more than a couple times. But, one way it really resonated with me was when the pastor, whom is a huge favorite around these parts, mentioned that he is severely afraid of speaking in front of people.

This shocked me.

The church I belong to is huge. Massive. Could be called a mega church. Usually I don't like those types of churches, but this one is different. It doesn't feel cold and informal. It's warm and welcoming and the pastor makes all the difference. All the difference.

When he said he was afraid to speak in front of people I couldn't believe it. He speaks in front of almost 2,000 people during four different sermons or more each week! What? I had no idea, nor could I tell. His sermons are personable and he seems to be at such ease up there, in his element! Then, he said he's not alone He has never been alone. It's not the people he's preaching to that are with him either, it's the person standing beside him.

That really got me thinking. You see, a friend of mine the other day said she just couldn't see me teaching in front of a group of kids. That all my stories sound like me, and she's knows it is me, but that she just couldn't see it. I asked her why, because... well, I was a little shocked. And, maybe a little hurt. She said that I am always so reserved, so it's just hard to see.

This was on Friday, so I have been thinking - not stewing about - just thinking, about that comment and trying to figure out why she can't see me in front of a group of kids. They're just kids! If it was a group of adults, I probably wouldn't be so cool and calm, but kids don't phase me one bit.

Then I remembered every time I got up in front of a group, I didn't feel alone. Every once in awhile when I am especially nervous to sub in a new school I will say a little prayer, which is... everyday. I have never subbed in a room more than two days in a row. Everyday when I am standing speaking to a group of 6th, 7th or 8th graders I am not up there by myself. I have help. Sometimes a lot of help.

How cool is that?

I'm not here to preach, I'm just saying I feel blessed. I feel grateful. I don't know what else I could ask for and I am so thankful for days like today that bring me back to center and make me realize everything that I have that I should be counting my lucky stars for.

What brings you back to center when everything doesn't seem to go your way?


Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Love this post. I find that as I get older the more often I really think and appreciate how lucky I am and how wonderful my life is. I am so grateful to have so many amazing people in my life that's for sure!

Suz said...

I so admire teachers for their ability to "perform" for a classroom everyday! I am way too shy to get up in front of a group of people and speak on a daily basis.

I need a day that brings me back to center right now. I can never seem to re-create those prefect blessed days when I' in the middle of a pity party unfortunately. I usually just have to wait it out.

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

It is great to have those moments when you are struck w/ gratitude & are thankful for what you have! I need a moment like that, I have been pretty down on life lately due to the stress of all the studying/tests... Hopefully seeing my family this weekend will help!

I love that you have a weekly HH with your friends! That is awesome! I wish my group of friends could do something like that, but everyone's schedules just never seem to match up.

I am surprised by your friend's comment... I have only met you in person once, so I obviously don't know her as well as you do, but I think it's very apparent that you have such a big heart, which I think is an important characteristic for a teacher, esp of young children...

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

Oh girl, I definitely know what you mean about the weekends and working. I use to work Friday, Saturday and Sunday for years and then finally a few months ago I got Friday and Saturday off and that has made such a difference!