Thursday, January 20, 2011

Ignorance sure is bliss.

I don't usually like to blog about this stuff, but you know what? This is my corner of the internet world and I really need this sort of therapy to make me feel better right now.

So, on with it...

Yesterday my good friend S asked me about the possibility of fostering a dog and since my aunt has several foster dogs ALL THE TIME I knew we could easily find S a dog to take care of. So, in the span of about 3 hours we contacted my aunt, located a dog and headed out to the country to pick up the little guy. This is the fun part of my story... Now, on to the not-so-fun part of my story...

We met my aunt at a little restaurant in her small town, sat at the bar and had dinner and four a couple drinks along with some great conversation. My sister got off of work during that time and headed out there as well. So, the four of us were having a great time talking, laughing and sharing stories about our pets. Well, I happened to be talking to my sister, who was to my right, about something when I heard my aunt, who was to my immediate left, talking to my friend who was to my aunt's left about her degree.

I met S in college almost 10 years ago. We both went to ISU where S got a Bachelors of Science in Marketing and I got a Bachelors of Science in Fashion and Business. I heard my aunt asking S about where she went to college and just making small talk. Then I heard her asking what he degree was in, and she goes, and I quote, "You didn't get a degree in merchandising like this one did, did you?" and points towards me. At first I pretended not to hear her, but then I looked over at her and said, "What?" And, my aunt goes, "Your degree is in merchandising, you didn't get a Bachelor's, like S did."

I. was. pissed.

You probably had to be there, because as I go back and read what I wrote it sounds like a simple misunderstanding.

I corrected my aunt and said, "No my degree is a BS, it's the same as S's just a different area of study." She then starts exclaiming how she can't believe that, that degree is a BS and that she doesn't believe me and wants to see my diploma.

SAY WHAT?!

Then I was really pissed.

I don't usually get mad, but when I'm mad, I'm REALLY MAD.

I snapped, "Well, then do you want to pay the rest of the $25,000 I have in student loans? Do you REALLY think I went to school for FOUR years and got nothing out of it? Seriously? Also, how could I possibly be working on Master's if I didn't have a Bachelors?"

My sister starts tugging my sleeve to get me to stop talking but I was furious. I wanted to slap my aunt for continuing to challenge me after I explained her error. After a couple minutes though, I just turned my back to her and started ignoring her. I went to pay my tab, but my aunt had picked up the tab for all four of us. Which, only irritated me more. I can pay my own bill.

I know this seems silly, and it probably is, but for years I have felt inadequate. That, because I didn't get a degree in Finance or Business or Marketing or Advertising or any other silly label that I am not as smart. But, I took just as many Marketing/Advertising/Business/Accounting classes that everyone else did. I had the same gen eds as everyone else, my "area of study" was just as business related and required several areas of expertise that have helped me immensely, such as HR, PR, math and accounting, design and marketing principles.

I know a lot of my anger is stemming from my own insecurities, I get it. It has helped to write it out on here though. I knew it would. I was just so hurt, because she was basically making fun of me to MY good friend. It just reminded me of why I don't spend much time with her. She tears others down (her own family!) to make herself feel better. I worked hard for my degree and nobody can take it away, I know that.

I prayed about it last night, which helped a lot, and I'm putting it out on here, which will probably help as well. It's just still hurtful that not even your own family will brag about you like they should. Shouldn't she boast about her family, not tear them down...?

Ugh, do you have any family members that you just can't stand? (Don't we all?)



13 comments:

Jenny Georgio-who said...

Oh man that would truly piss me off. I hate when people do things like that.

My family does that always comparing me to my sister. (I finished university she didn't). I don't think having a degree makes you any more or less than someone who doesn't. Not everyone is built for school.

I would have found something about my aunt to pick on her for. I'm a bitch like that though. Or at the very least, thrown some money at her before storming out!

Adorably Distracted... said...

awww I'm sorry you had to go through that. It sucks when you feel like you constantly have to sell yourself to people that should just be proud of what you have accomplished.

I definitely have a family member that i have to think twice about talking to in fear that it will get held against me later on, it sucks because i used to be very close to her and she was the one person I could go to about anything. Then she started dating someone, let them dwell on some things I told her, and since then I have never told her anything personal about me life.

gotta love family right? lol

Kara said...

I would be livid if someone told me my degree wasn't a "real" one. Livid!

I do have a family member who I can't stand, so I only interact with her when I absolutely have to. She's kind of the black sheep in the family.

molly said...

I feel like I know what you feel and know what you are saying ten times over. I get shit every day for not going into the family business and becoming a teacher. Its hard, but you have to see that you ARE good enough and that you are doing exactly what makes you happy. Not everyone can say they are getting their MASTERS! Thats huge! Keep doing what youre doing and know in your heart that its the best thing for you. You dont need anyone elses approval.

xo-Molly

Amber (Girl with the red hair) said...

Ugh I'm sorry Amber! That sucks :(

I have had a few people make comments about my degree in Journalism too. "Oh what are you going to do with that." Or when I say I have a journalism degree they just ASSUME I work at a newspaper. It truly is just ignorance shining through, though!

You DID work hard for your degree and having that degree is something that no-one can EVER take away from you so try not to let her get you down!

Shannon said...

Wow! You have every right to be upset! How dare someone say that you don't have a bachelors because of your area of study! Obviously if anyone is ignorant in this, it's your aunt! She owes you an apology.

pinkflipflops said...

get used to it because pretty soon you will "just" be a teacher and ANYONE can do that.

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

Ugh, that sucks. Some people just don't have any social intelligence and don't know what is or isn't appropriate to say... So tough to put up with, esp when it comes from family!

Sam said...

I'm so sorry! How rude and ignorant of her to think that your degree was less than the next. That's so strange to me that she would even think that in the first place? Ugh, I would have been so pissed and corrected her like you did.

Suz said...

Sometimes I think people like that don't even realize they are offending you. We have one of those in my group of friends and I can't stand her. Last time I was around her she said "You still don't have a boyfriend??" and went on and on about it. I just tune her out when she gets on one of those kicks now because she will never change so I just have to let it go. But yeah it boils my blood when people put others down (probably just to inflate their own ego)!

Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) said...

I can definitely see why you would be mad about that, but what you need to realize is that you did get an important degree and all that matters is that YOU know what you got. Honestly, no offense to her, but she is kind of not the BRIGHTEST if she doesn't realize that you can get a BS or a BA in tons of different subjects. Did your sister or friend back you up at all?

Some people just love to bring others down. I can't stand being around these people. Luckily no one in my immediate family is like this and I don't see my extended family enough to annoy me. I'd be happy she paid the bill though, at least you didn't have to pay to be annoyed by her :)

Crazy Shenanigans-JMO said...

I can understand why you would get upset too. Going to school for 4 years and getting a bachelors degree is hard work. To have someone tear that down and say that it isn't as good as everyone else's would have ruffled my feathers.

P said...

I would have been completely infuriated by that too. I'm quite lucky I guess in that I have a fairly small family and like them all, thank goodness!