Wednesday, October 24, 2012

On being proud...

I felt a little silly putting my splits from the half up here on Monday, I mean, they're nothing to brag about, RIGHT? I averaged over a 12 minute pace, which compared to so many other runners, is a pretty average to slow pace.

But, wait, they ARE something to be proud of. Why would I compare myself to other bloggers/runners that have way more experience on me? Why wouldn't I put them up on the blog to share? That does not make sense and is the fast track to dragging myself down.

Sure, averaging a better pace is something to work towards, but feeling bad about my pace or, worse, hiding it and not talking about it at all, ruins the experience for me. I love sharing this with experience on here and, better yet, documenting the experience so I can remember all of the details. I'm a pretty numbers driven person, so not analyzing the data from races is something I just don't think I can avoid (although I did for quite a long time!)

I was emailing back and forth with Stephany on Monday and she complimented me for putting those numbers up there. She mentioned how we see so many 8-9 minute pacers in the blog world, and, although that is great, it was refreshing to see a beginning runner put their splits up for once.

This conversation really made me feel better. After I hit publish on my race recap, I felt really anxious. What would people think? Would they wonder why I was putting up those numbers up? Would they smirk, considering me an imposter and not a real runner?

Seriously! How ridiculous are those thoughts?! They're pointless, and stupid.

The good thing is, I realize how absurd they are. I realize how silly that was to think that way, and as soon as I began to think, "why did I put those numbers out there for everyone to see???" I thought....

"....because it's reality. That's why." 

I have not met a single veteran runner that is NOT encouraging and motivating. Every single runner I have come across has been so motivating and helpful. Never once have I got the feeling that I couldn't do it or that this sport required some special natural talent that I might not have.


I'm not sure what I will do next yet, but I do know that long distance races are not in my near future. I do want to do some more smaller races, maybe some 10k's and lots of 5k's. I want to keep running, and so far training for something has kept me motivated, so I'm a little nervous about not having something to train for. I will have to figure out what to do keep myself out there and running.

Thank you everyone for your sweet comments on my last post! They really made my day!

10 comments:

Suz L said...

I LOVE this post! You are such an inspiration!

p S h A o R t A o said...

I didn't think anything of your numbers, I thought it was amazing that you set out to do what you wanted to do on your own. Keep it up girl, it's about doing what you love and being healthy, not about being the best!

Becky said...

I'm really proud you put them up too! I am not a runner and will never BE a runner so I'm always impressed when anyone runs a race. DEFINITELY be proud! You accomplished a lot!!!

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I am glad you put them up! They are something to be proud of and I promise you, no one is judging you. And if they are? They are NOT worth having in your life!! I am so proud of you - you have come so far and I know you are inspiration to others who are trying to get into running!

I always put my splits up because I like to go back and look at them. I have done that with my Portland marathon and with some of the training runs I did for that race. So this really is one set of blog posts that is sort of for me... I am sure people do not really care about my mile by mile break down - but I do! And I like having it captured here on a page that I can look back at!

I think that being proud of our accomplishment is something other experienced runners struggle with, too. I have stopped comparing myself to others, and I try to compete with myself... But I always have this feeling after of a race of 'was that a good performance?' Which is silly because I shaved 19 minutes off my last PR. But it's just a mind trap I get caught up in...

Once again - congrats! You should be SO proud of yourself!! I know I am!!

Marisa A. said...

You definitely should be proud! I averaged a 12:19/mile pace for the marathon and I was pretty darn happy with that! I would have posted my splits but I opted not to run with my Nike + so that I'd be less focused on time and pace and more focused on enjoying the race and finishing. But now that I've seen everyone posting theres I kind of wish I could post my own!

Julie said...

You are quite motivating to me because I can only hope that one day I will run some race and be proud of whatever time I finish with :)

Kelly (She Wears a Red Sox Cap) said...

I would actually just laugh at someone if they were judging your times- I mean hello you are running a half marathon! THAT is a huge accomplishment even if your times were 15 minute miles! Your times were great and I think it's great you didn't get caught up in the blog world competitive ways! :) And yay, you ran a half marathon!

Amber said...

You SHOULD be very very proud!! I'm glad you posted your splits and feel proud of them!

Kyria @ Travel Spot said...

You did really well! I think that your splits are something to be proud of, plus you ran 13 miles! Hello, that's awesome!

Stephany said...

I am so glad to see this post and that you are not feeling silly about putting your times up anymore, because I think it's FABULOUS and motivates ME to get out there and run.

I actually deleted my DailyMile profile for this very reason. I felt so silly for being proud of running a 12:30-pace when people were running 8:30-pace EASY RUNS. And I started comparing myself so much to them, forgetting that running is an entirely individual sport and there's no need to compare. I will probably NEVER be an 8-minute miler. And honestly? That is okay. As long as I'm enjoying the sport and it's making ME happy, that's all that matters. :)

You have come SO FAR, my friend! So proud of you!