Sunday, December 16, 2012

Life isn't fair.

Friday morning as I was sitting in a Family and Consumer Science classroom substitute teaching and the students were working on their sewing projects, I was casually scrolling through Facebook. I noticed a friend of mine's status was something along the lines of "Shooting kindergartners?? Really?!"

My entire body went cold and I just knew it was bad.

I then went to Twitter because I knew I would get the most up to date news there and that is when I found out the horrible news. I looked up and one of the kids looked back at me, and I must have looked pale because he asked what was wrong. I just smiled meekly and said nothing. A few minutes later everyone in the class was aware of what just happened due to their own phones buzzing on their desks. These students were older of course, all sophomores, juniors and seniors. They have seen bad things happen, many directly to them. I did not address it with the class, I just allowed them to take a break from their assignments to watch You Tube videos, text loved ones or scroll through Twitter and Facebook.

I got left off easy.

But, what will all the kindergarten teachers say to their kids tomorrow morning? How can this possibly be explained? My heart breaks for all of the families missing their loved ones right now. My heart breaks for the family of Adam Lanza. My heart breaks for the children who are undoubtedly terrified to return to school tomorrow. I picture the kindergarten students I will be working with next semester in my student teaching placement and I consistently have to fight back tears. Obviously God has plans, but this just is not fair. Life is not fair. I can only take solace in knowing that the 28 people that lost their lives Friday morning are in a better place and at least those young children were able to go to heaven together. 

As I sat in that classroom looking around at the students I just met that day, I wondered what battles they are fighting. Do they have everything they need? Obviously Adam Lanza did not. I am not pointing fingers, but clearly someone dropped the ball here. To be able to commit such a heinous act, you have to be completely out of your mind. To give in to the devil so terribly, so horribly gruesome and heartless your mind is no longer yours and is in the possession of something much more evil. But, on the other hand, could it have been prevented? Absolutely. What mental help was he receiving? What was he not receiving? We have come a long way in treating mental illness, but we have so much further to go.

This school did everything right. There was nothing more they could have done. The office staff was clearly very smart and they saved lives by turning on the intercom so the entire building could hear what was going on in that office and take cover. What else needs to be done though? I have wracked my brain and gone as far as saying every school needs metal detectors. Every school needs security and weapons. Is that really what we have come to?

And clearly, yes, we have. We live in a scary world. 


Amber said...

Heartbreaking is the only way to describe it. So incredibly heart breaking and sad and just... there are no words.

Kristin said...

We do live in a scary world. I work in a mental health office and the human mind is a very scary thing. I feel so much for all those people and also those that have to step into a classroom tomorrow.

The Many Thoughts of a Reader said...

I personally don't think metal dectctors in every school is the answer. I also don't think concealed weapons on teachers is the answer either.

Lisa from Lisa's Yarns said...

I don't know what the answer is, but something needs to be done. I do think it starts with more mental health programs, and more of an effort to remove some of the stigma around mental illnesses. Maybe people would seek help more often if if was more socially acceptable? But I don't know. All i know is that it is a horribly sad situation and my heart hurts for those parents.

Stephany said...

This post gave me chills. It is so heartbreaking, so horrific. The teachers and administrators showed such bravery in something that should not have happened.

I do think schools need to be tougher on security but I don't think MORE weapons is the answer and I firmly, firmly do not believe teachers should have them in their classrooms. Gun control, more help for mental illnesses, school security... there are a lot of issues on hand. I hate phrasing it like this, but I hope this is a wake-up call for Washington to get it together.

Shoshanah said...

The whole thing is just heart wrenching. I can't even imagine what it must be like for those parents who last their kids or the teachers who were there. It's just so impossible to wrap your mind around.

I did find a blogger day of silence going on tomorrow, that I'm planning on participating in, in case you wanted to look into that as well.