Jaded

You guys, I am so jaded, it is disturbing. My dislike for the general public is scaring me. A LOT.

Let me explain.

You all know I work in retail. 5 times out of 10, people are rude instead of nice. I have been treated like dirt so many times, I can't stand it. It makes it harder and harder to grin and bare it. With each passing day I do not want to go that extra mile to make somebody's day and I dislike people from the moment they walk in my store.

Instead of being grateful for their business like I should be, I'm irritated that they are in the mall and only want them to leave. It's like I'm waiting for the bad and not ever expecting the good.

Today we had this woman in the store that was shopping with a $50 giftcard. Her 10 year old daughter was hanging on to the card and thought she had put it in her pocket. It must have fallen out because a few minutes later her mother was fah-reak-ing out. I'm talking tears and snapping at us to start looking for her giftcard. About five of us started frantically looking for it (in the mean time the line for the cash registers is out the door) and we have no luck. I ask her if I can take her name and number and call her if it turns up and she wasn't having that. It seemed anything I said to her was just awful. She wasn't feeling me at all. She did however love the girl that I have just for holidays. (She IS a total sweetheart). So, I let her handle the situation under my watchful eye. I gave her the number for our customer service to freeze the giftcard and hopefully re-issue a new one.

In the meantime, I was fuming. Why wasn't I good enough to help? Do I have a stamp on my forehead that says dumb blonde? I have felt this resistance from people for a long time now. A long time.

I think it's only getting worse and I'm really dumbfounded by it... but as time passes it is becoming clearer and clearer. I'm not happy and it's so obvious. I don't smile with my eyes and although I am sincere about doing my job, I don't really care. Ya know? I just don't. I wish I did, but I don't feel like I am doing anything that is impactful and worthwhile.

I don't feel like I'm making a difference. At my old job (which to some it would look very similar to the company I'm at now, but trust me, it's not) I felt like I was making a difference. I was making a little girls day. I was making someone smile. I don't do that now. It's not really possible (in the same sense) yeah it's fun making your sales plan and getting that bonus, but does a bonus really change who you are? How you look at life?

Nope, it doesn't. The money runs out and you're still the same person (just better dressed).

So, I had a wake up call today. It's not that I sincerely do not care about these people, I care. I'm just not motivated to go out of my way because... well, they probably wouldn't do the same for me.

I wish I didn't feel so "what's in it for me" but I guess that is why I am getting out now.

So, I'm sure I'm doing the right thing and hopefully I won't be so jaded anymore!

Have you ever felt this way towards the general public? How did you snap out of it?

PS: Our customer service center is working on the giftcard issue for the lady. Hopefully they can re-issue a new one. She ended up apologizing for freaking out and wanted to get all our name to write a letter to our home office. So, hopefully we get some recognition for putting up with a little crazy today... :)