Free as a bird...

"If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours; if it doesn't, it was never meant to be."

I'm not sure who said that quote, but I have loved it for about as long as I can remember. I agree with my whole heart.

When I was 13 I met the person who I thought was "the one" for years. We let each other go many, many times and we came back to each other almost every time. Each time we went opposite directions I thought of this quote. I always had a funny feeling it wasn't the last time we would be together. I knew he would be back, or I would be back. We both had to grow up, figure out who we were or who we wanted to be.

Well, now we are grown-up. We both have adult jobs, homes and even a child (him). We may not have figured out who we are completely yet, but we know who we want to be. We know who we are when we're together, and who we are when we're not.

We put each other through hell sometimes and weren't always very nice. We still aren't. He's the only guy I have ever been truly myself with, and I didn't care. I could say something silly, or ask any stupid question and he was probably already anticipating it. That grin would give away everything he was thinking.

In January we broke up for the bajillionth time, and this time I don't have that funny feeling in my stomach. He isn't mine, and it wasn't meant to be.

And, you know what? I'm okay with that.

We aren't 13 years old anymore, as much as I wish we still were. When "I love you" wasn't such a loaded sentence, yet we still meant it. When holding hands and a quick kiss was enough. When hours on the phone was normal, verses a quick text every now and then.

Back when everything was shiny, new with excitement. When everything we said was sincere, when the emotions were real and raw.